Okay, it’s time to face it. I’ve had nearly two months of separation from my initial post-new-year’s-resolution bliss. So have you. How’s that going for you? Well, my guess is, about the same as it’s going for me. It’s been two weeks since I lost a single pound, and this week, I’ve yet to work out (not to mention the cookies I made yesterday). I started out strong. But at this point, most of us have either lost steam, or have jumped ship altogether. So, why can’t we stick to our resolutions?

Because. We’ve set ourselves up for failure.

We say, “I’m going to lose twenty pounds in two months!” when we’ve been hitting the drive-thru five nights a week for the last six months. We say, “I’m going to exercise everyday!” when we haven’t seen the inside of a gym in years. Or we commit ourselves to a crazy fad diet, vowing to cut out entire food groups. Lifestyle changes don’t happen overnight. It’s silly of us to expect them to, but year after year, we do this to ourselves. Worse than that, when we fail, we beat ourselves up over it. As if it’s your own fault for not being able to change your whole life overnight!

I started out setting two simple goals for myself, but as I started to see success, I got a little too excited. My number one goal was to get back to exercise. My other goal was to eat healthy. Not in a diety kind of way, or a “I’m not gonna eat carbs ‘til I’m a size two” kind of way. Just a reasonable, low calorie diet that still includes the foods I love. Except, as the weeks went by, I started telling myself to do more. Here’s a sample conversation with myself:

Crazy Me: “What are you doing, lazy ass? TV is for fat people. GET UP!”

Reasonable Me: “But, I’m tired. Plus, I’ve already worked out four times this week and my knee is a little sore–”

Crazy Me: “Stop being a loser!”

Another sample conversation with myself:

Crazy Me: “Chinese food?? You’re seriously ordering Chinese food? WTF is wrong with you?”

Reasonable Me: “I didn’t have time to get to the store so I could make dinner. And I hate dragging the kids to the grocery store. They yell at me to get the gigantic “racecar” cart even though it’s impossible to steer, and then pull each other’s hair while some old lady tells me to cherish these precious moments and I resist the urge to punch her in throat. Besides, I’m not ordering the fried stuff–”

Crazy Me: “PUT THE FORK DOWN, FATTY!”

So…when Crazy Me yells at me, I get mad…and I get even.

Used To Be Reasonable Me: “Oh, yeah, Crazy Me? F*ck off. And watch me eat all these egg rolls. Mmmmm…they’re soooo good. You like that, Crazy Me? Huh? Here, have one…”

We can all relate, right? (No? What’s that you say? I should be locked up in the looney bin?) Well, now I’m trying to get back to the land of Reasonable Me, and remember my initial goals. My nice, simple, easy to stick to goals.

1. Cook a healthy meal (with enough for leftovers) three nights a week. And stop feeling like I have to cook an elaborate Biggest-Loser-worthy meal every night. Don’t make it too hard. Just keep the meals simple. And when I eat out, look for reasonable options (hint: steering clear of the words “deep fried” should work wonders.)

2. Work out 3-5 times a week, and DO NOT let Crazy Me take over, otherwise I’ll get overwhelmed and burned out. Because, hey…working out is supposed to be fun! And it is!

I know, I know. Some of you are sneering at me right now. “Um, Sharon…I’d rather chew off my own arm than go to the gym.” Here’s what made the biggest difference for me: finding a program that I could actually enjoy. If you like music, find a dance based program. If you like sports, get a group together and play basketball or volleyball. And if (for some reason I will never understand) you like running, find a group of friends you can go with or make a killer playlist. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. And keep it fun!

So that’s what I’m trying to do from here on out. Take the pressure off of myself. I may not lose twenty pounds in two months, but I’ll be more likely to keep this up all year. If I can do that, I just might reach that weight loss goal, instead of beating myself up for failing. Sounds better, doesn’t it? Wish me luck. (And, again, please don’t call the looney bin to come pick me up until AFTER I finish writing my new novel. Thanks.)